ABBY

An ode to our little angel (RIP)

Pup-pup, Abba Zabba, Pup-a-lup, Abs
You used to run next to my bike
So fast I feared I couldn’t keep up
Abby saved us both you know
Trauma, sickness, pain, non-spatial drift
Lives living as blurry reflections
Her face glowed and goofed
Moving, loving, protecting, giving and needing
Silly, brilliant, willful, and strong
She needs to live even if we don’t know how

Kissy-Face, Abba-Slabs, Baby Girl, Zabs
A mother and a daughter
A small spoon in our pockets
Belly of a cow, or is it a pig (chronology)
Face capable of lighting a rainy day
Though she never would
“Stubborn girl,” I said through many smiles
She led us up and down the California Coast
She led us home
She led us to find glows of our own

Love-pup, Puppy-Butt, Angel-Face, Abby
You used to run next to my bike
So fast I feared I couldn’t keep up
I was right to be afraid
Cruel fist of time, crushing finitude of systems
You never pressed ahead out of sight, until you did
Into space we can’t contort to enter
Despite months of trying to retrieve you
Like May Poppins and her umbrella
You thought we were ready
An angel’s work is never done
Now, there is a hole where you were
The space blanketing your mom’s stomach and chest
On my back where I can still feel your excited weight sometimes
Forever in love and gratitude we wait to feel your weight again